Why? 11 year old girl, gang raped.

The big story floating through cyber world today is the arrest of a 19 year old for his participation in a gang rape of an 11 year old little girl.  This young man along with six other gang members sexually assaulted the young girl in a park bathroom.  This is the second sexual assault in a month in the California neighborhood park.

My question....what are we going to do?  Yes, what are WE going to do.  The state of our young people is really a reflection on what the generation prior has done.  We can no longer place blame and say the streets, drugs, gangs, negativity, if you ask me, they are all crutches that we use to keep the blame from ourselves.  To be quite honest for a second, it is our fault.  Come off the high horse for a moment.  Believe me, I am talking to myself as well.  We can do more.  I know that I could do more.  Our children are seriously loosing while we watch on the sidelines shaking our head.  Seriously, we should be the ones shaking our head at ourselves.

How many times have we been in the presence of youth who just didnt know any better and offered to mentor?  How many times have we saw a young girl cursing like crazy to cover her low self-estteem and just turned our head in disgust?  Really, just think about it.  How many times have we past judgement on these children and have had no clue as to what they face in their personal lives everyday. Many of our young people are raising themselves or raising other siblings or a parent. 

It is evidenced in the bullying, the disrespect, the murders, the rapes, and the pain that they are calling out for help.  Here is a question that we should all ask ourselves....have we let our children down?

Game Changer

I have been going through a little process in my head for a full week now.  My thoughts have been circulating around the idea of having multiple jobs.  I already have three and was offered another position last night.  I am doing the same thing with each company, but it had me thinking if I was being greedy or expected to have all that I dreamed of in one setting.  Is it possible to be too greedy in life?

A friend of mine told me that she believes that you can have it all, just not at one time.  Is this true?  What if we you have right now is exactly what you are supposed to have at that time.  We all know that as we grow, our wants and our needs change.  I am not the same person at 32 as I was at 30.  My needs, my desires, my life has changed drastically since then.  I certainly do not live the same life.

When I really thought about it, it became very clear to me. What I am doing along with a lot of my peers is trying to really live my life to the fullest.  I know we say that a lot, but if you really look around you will see many individuals sincerely going after their dreams despite the costs and the sacrifices.  There is a genuine determination to change the path of life that they have seen family members before them travel.  I know for myself, if I don't get this ambition out of of me and manifest everything inside of me, I will bust.

People who don't understand will probably say that I am taking on too much.  I often hear the statement of, "you are doing that too?"  Yup, that too!  You would agree that it would be better to say that I tried and had the opportunity to experience than to not have had the opportunity?  I know my limits and I haven't reached it yet, so be prepared in the next upcoming weeks to see what else has been added (the pot is stirring).  I have realized that the rules of the game have not changed but I have decided to not only change the rules but change how it is played.  A natural Game Changer!

Part Two: There is another angle to the receive part. (Ask, Believe, Receive)

About a week ago, I posted on my new spiritual exercise of Asking, Believing, and Receiving.  Three simple words that I found were not so simple to execute.  Early last week, I thought that I would really put this concept into action.  I asked for three specific things by a certain day.  I asked and believed.  I believed with great intent.  The day came and none of the three things that I asked for had manifested.  I was a little upset and offended because I had done the two parts that was required of me.

For the entire weekend, I continued to questioned this entire concept.  If I asked and believed, then what I asked for and believed in, I should receive.  Its as easy as one, two, three. Right?  I learned a very important element of this concept.  I can ask and I can believe, BUT I really have to be open to receive.  Last week, as much as I really believed, I had self-sabotagging thoughts that did not allow those things to happen.  Let me show you what I mean.  At the beginning of the week, when I first made my declaration, I was excited, fully believing.  As it became closer to the day when I was the receive, conflicting thoughts began to run through my mind.  You know those thoughts: "Why should you have that?"  "You really think that you can have that?" "Your not qualified."  All of those stupid little thoughts. 

Sunday morning, in my intimate time with God, I was given a great revelation.  This is what I learned.  The reason why I did not receive what I asked for is simply because I did not believe that I was deserving to have it.  I may have wanted it, but deep inside my thoughts, I disqualified myself from receiving because I did not believe that I could actually have what I asked for.  I closed myself off from receiving.  The moment I caught this, I started crying because it was true.  I had not dealt with my true insecurities regarding myself.  These were insecurities that I had hidden within myself that surfaced when I believed things for myself.  I don't know about you, but it is always easier for me to encourage and believe great things for other people.

I will tell you this much.  Since dealing with ME yesterday morning, I have seen prayers answered and worry and stress have left me.  The ASK, BELIEVE, RECEIVE does work.  The secret to getting the things you ask for is for you to get out of your own way. 

Go ahead, ask, believe God, believe in yourself, believe that you are worthy to have what you are asking for, dispute the negative thoughts, open yourself to receive and you will.

Pure Disgust: Why do we continuously throw each other under the bus.

I tried my very best to stay away from the whole subject, yet there is too much concern in me to remain quiet.  I know that I have mentioned this numerous times, but I truly love people.  I am a huge supporter of women.  I love to see other women accomplish their dreams if that is running a business, receiving the promotion they desire, climb a mountain, write a book, or run their home. If I am able to assist, I give from what I have or point the person in the direction of someone who has what they need. My philosophy is that we have to be supportive of one another.  Women are each other's resources.

When watching the "Celebrity Apprentice" on Sunday, my emotions ranged from shocked to disgust by the time the end credits were rolling.  Listen, I completely understand what competition is and I am well aware of how business works and how the game is played.  However, I think that what moves us ahead without the "burglar" look over our shoulder is how much integrity we utilize when positioning or leveraging ourselves.  There is really something to be said about integrity.  What many of us have to realize is that the prize is not the business deal but the reputation of the person that closes the deal.  You can be a savvy businesswoman yet execute in excellence without causing another person to stumble, feel humiliated or demoralized, or even worse, stupid.  After a deal is closed or a competition is won, what is remembered by onlookers is how the competitors played the game.

In the year of 2011, why have we as women not moved past the crab in the barrel mentality?  God made this world vast.  He made us all with many talents and gifts.  believe it or not, there is enough room for ALL of us to grow.  Will we ever get to a point where we realize that we can get out of the barrel quicker by linking arms together?  Seriously, woman have made great strides in so many areas, yet when I see us throw one another under the bus with no remorse, it makes me question how far we have really come.  Are we imitating power that we have lost or have we just lost, because we are lost?

Japan's Tragedy is Our Tragedy!

I think we all have sat with open mouths as we have seen the complete devastation in Japan.  I know for myself that it was very difficult to see an entire airport wiped away from water.  It was beyond disheartening to know that in an instant, the lives of innocent people had been completely turned upside down.  To know that children were killed and separated from their families, brought tears to my eyes.  To see streets, homes, and buildings wiped away along with people sitting on a piece of undestroyed land with looks of displacement, heartbreak, and confusion on their faces, should hit home for many of us. 

We can't compare one tragedy to another for each situation has its own story.  However, we do understand that pain holds no boundary.  For many of us, Japan rests on the other side of the world, yet what we must understand and realize is that what affects one, affects us all.  We are all divinely connected to one another and share the space of the world together. 

Do not watch in horror, do something!  If your something is a prayer or donation, I am sure that both would be well appreciated.  We have to remember that we are each others keeper.

Silent Sufferer: Miscarriage

Throughout the day, I have heard various reports discussing the a potential law that will require a woman to have an ultrasound before having an abortion.  I have mixed reviews on the issue not because I feel that I have a right to tell anyone what to do with their body, but because I dealt with Mother Nature's abortion.

I remember finding out that I was pregnant in April of 2005.  I was married for only four months and although I was scared about becoming a mother so early into the marriage, I thought that this would be a very blessed time in our lives.  I could not have been any more wrong.  My husband was against becoming a father and issued an ultimatum, I would choose between having a husband or a child. You could imagine the emotional roller coaster.  I experienced happiness and excitement from my colleagues at work and suffered in silence at home as the topic of the baby was not up for discussion. 

I am a very strong willed woman and have always had my own mind, however, this particular situation broke me.  I was caught between a rock and a hard place of leaving a marriage and raising a baby on my own, or ending a life and keeping a marriage.  In the end, the decision was not mine.  The weekend of July 4th in 2005, I miscarried in my home. The babies were not developing the way that they should have and my body was doing everything it could to support them.  In fact, the pregnancy was becoming poisonous to me.  At that point, my life was in jeopardy.  The doctors discussed the options, told me that I could go on to have more children but this pregnancy was not a healthy one.  A decision was made.  The emotional ramifications of loosing a baby, not trusting  my husband, realizing that my marriage would no longer be the same (it ended three years later), and attempting to return to who I was pre-pregnancy was a more than enough to handle.  You really have no idea what to do with the thoughts in your mind when you miscarry.  People have no idea what to say to you and you have nothing to say to them.

What lawmakers need to realize is that each situation is very different.  None of us understand the mental process that another person has had to experience to formulate a decision.  Yes, there are women who use abortion as a form of birth control ( for whatever reason) but there are women who are forced to a decision by circumstance and survival.  We can all say what we would not do when we are far removed from a situation, but i guarantee, the statements change when you are starring a circumstance in its face.

If I had to watch an ultrasound  before I was given medication to terminate my pregnancy, I am not too sure if my mind would have remained in tact.  Lawmakers can not be so quick to impose what they believe are deterrents or harsh consequences on women because they feel abortion is wrong.  If you have ever had to make a decision to end a pregnancy voluntary or involuntary, the emotional aftermath is a painful reminder all to itself.

A woman has the right to choose without the moral chastisements from people who do not know her or understand her situation.

Ask. Believe. Receive

All week, this seems to be the theme.  No matter where I have gone, including a funeral or what I have read including several times within my twitter timeline, this is what I have been hearing.  I decided to put this to the test.  On Monday night, I promised myself that I was going to test this and no matter what negative thoughts came into my head or distractions that came my way, I was going to ask, believe, and receive.  Two people that are very close to me, have done the same thing and I have witnessed miracles happen.  We are talking job interviews and many other great things.

I won't tell you that this is easy.  My mind fights against itself.  Yesterday in particular was a little more challenging than usual.  Anytime any person makes up their mind to think positive, it seems like every storm cloud in America is overcast upon your head.  Yesterday was a lot of tears and I cant's, but I remembered ask, believe, receive and I got through it.

I am so determined to see this through.  Just think, if I can really get my mind to agree with my heart, half the battle is won.  Okay, wish me luck, its the middle of the week and I asked for something by the end of the week.  My goal is to receive it so I can inspire you to ask, believe, and receive.  Check back soon.

Girl Power: Women taking the Publishing World Over!

In case you didn't know, I am such an advocate for women and an even greater supporter of all of the wonderful things that we have going on.  Here lately women have been trailblazing in the publishing world.  I am so proud of my fellow colleagues.  We all stand in different genres of print, but are making great strides nonetheless.  Cheers to us.  Take a look at what fierce and fabulous looks like these days:

Constance White: It was announced on March 3, 2010, that Constance would be taking the position of the Editor-in-Chief of Essence Magazine.  Constance has over 15 years of journalism experience and has recently departed from eBay as their style director.  We wish her all the best of luck in her new role.

Have you seen the new redesigned April issue of Ebony magazine.  You should check it out!  There is a new styled logo as well as a new section entitled "Elevate" dealing with the mind, body, and soul.  This all due to a very tenacious young woman, Amy Dubois Barnett.  This dynamo is no stranger to boosting new energy into a publication.  Look her up.  Amy is amazing!  Good work Amy.  We look forward to more great things from Ebony.

Jillian Sanz is the National Fashion Director for Haute Living Magazine.  She has been with the luxury magazine for only seven months and has already chartered new dimensions in fashion for all 13 city magazines.  With her eclectic style, we all look forward in seeing what Jillian has up her sleeve for the upcoming issues.

Ariana Huffington has partnered with Shelia Johnson (co founder of BET) to form HuffPost GlobalBlack.  This will be a section of the popular newspaper that focuses on positive news makers within the black community.  Anything positive gets a vote of confidence from me.

Latina Magazine is also created a huge buzz.  Rich in culture and diversity, Galina Espinoza who is the Co-President and Editorial Director of the magazine has successfully catapulted the publication as the leading magazine for Latina women.  Take a look, really good things inside.  Great work Galina.

Brandon Holly took the position of Editor-in-Chief of Lucky Magazine last September.  The fashion/shopping magazine serves a guide to all fashionistas.  We look forward to great fashion spreads Brandon.

 Tracey Ferguson is the creator and EIC of JONES Magazine.  What started as a small magazine in Texas has now become a national publication.  Great fashion and inspiration.  You never know where your dream can take you.

Emmanuelle Alt was recently appointed the new Editor-in-Chief of French Vogue.  The publication is set to become more open and cutting edge.  Congratulations Emmanuelle.

These are just a few.  Don't worry, my highlight is not over. There are so many women doing extraordinary things to highlight them all at one time.  For now, lets give these ladies a wonderful round of applause.  Great job!  Remember, when one elevates, we all elevate.

Letter to Lil Wayne (Little Girls Empowering Themselves)

Two young ladies, 9 and 10 rapped an open letter to Lil Wayne about his derogatory rap lyrics towards women.  It seems to me that our younger generation has had enough.  Take a look.

The Charlie Sheen Epidemic

Okay, so I tried to stay away from this for as long as I could.  The crazed whirlwind surrounding Charlie Sheen has been undeniably crazy and quite frankly hard to watch.  To many of us, we see it as another celebrity/entertainer who has fell from their high mountain top, yet it is so much more than that.  An entire show has been suspended, which means hundreds of people including writers, actors, producers, clean up crew, caterers, assistants, production crews, etc are out of work.  He is out of work.  He has children who are front row ticket holders in watching their fathers' life fall many bricks at a time.  Sad, very sad.  However, watching all of this made me ask as question: How many of us are victims of our own hype?

Charlie Sheen is really no different than any of us.  His "stuff" has just been exposed on a world platform.  How many of us have committed actions that have had an adverse effect on others?  How many times have we just did what we desired without thinking of the consequences or even cared what the outcome would be?  How many times have we made decisions that caused our loved ones to question their love for us. How many times have we thought that we were loosing our minds due to the sum total of our bad choices coming down on us? Let's be honest.  We all have the ability to become products of our own hype.  This is why it is so very important to have an inner circle of people around you  that you trust and respect to ground you. 

Sadly, Charlie Sheen had no one in his circle to bring him back to reality.  No one becomes this over night.  There was a slow progression of the that train headed for the wall for some time and no one said or did anything to stop it.  "Two and a half Men" is a close account of his life.  As long as it was making money and remained the number one sitcom, no one was willing to mess with the formula.  When it became uncontrolled, like anything else, Charlie and the show were dismissed.

My point:  Check your life.  Check your inner circle. Check your motives. Check yourself. There is a great epidemic going around, don't be the next casualty. (Point taken Diana)