Who are you? Where are you now? Where are you going?

Some times you need to do a little inventory check on your life. I do this every quarter just to see if I am on target or if I need to make some necessary adjustments. I have also used this numerous times when I worked in Social Services or have done a speaking engagement.  This is very powerful as I have seen emotionally hardened men and women come to tears behind this exercise.   Can you answer these three questions?  Before you turn your nose up, there are some rules to these questions.  If you are up for the challenge, I will guarantee that will see exactly what is happening in your life.  Disclaimer: In order for it to work, you have to be honest with yourself.   Lets get started:

Who are you?  When answering, you can not write down your name, your race, your gender, the fact that you may be a mother, father, son, daughter, brother, sister, husband, or wife, cousin or friend. Do not list your job title either.  It is not important.  Those are all titles that we hide behind that help us not to deal with us.  Who are you really?  Who are you independent of everyone around you and independeant of the titles given to you by other people? This will require you to really hold that mirror up to yourself and record what you see.  Search deep.

Where are you now?  Don't say stuck, in transition, in a happy place, your current location.  Nope, those answers will be completely unacceptable.  You have to access where you are in your life emotionally, spiritually, mentally, and physically.  This is dealing with self positioning.  Be honest!

Where are you going?  As with the other two, no surface answers.  You have realized who you are and where you are, now we need to position where you go from here.  Develop your plan.  It is okay if you need to make corrections along the way. 

Remember, no one can build your road map for you and above all, no one knows you better than you know yourself.

The Two Me's

I experienced a little hardship this past week, nothing big but enough to cause a small struggle between Diana and Dionna.  Yes, the two me's.  Diana is the person sure of her purpose, understands where she is headed and executes plans to get us there.  Dionna is the person who as soon as a bump in the road is very quick to ask the questions, "Why are we here?" "Why cant we just go back to what we know?" "Why didn't you listen to me and just play it safe?"  "Can we go now?"  Her voice just becomes so annoying and aggravating that it starts the fight between the two.  At times, although I have gotten better, I find myself trying to rationalize the points between the two arguments.  This then gets my emotions involved causing me to become tired and wanting to shut down from both voices.

Although I am working through the tale end of this, it made me question why I even become flustered?  I have seen my fair share of disappointments and hardships, in the end, it all worked out for my good.  It was through those hardships that I understood why certain things had to happen.  A missed relationship and a painful past led to my first book.  A miscarriage and a failed marriage led to a second book.  My past has given me great insight to be an excellent speaker.  A closed door on one job led to a dream job.  I know these things, so why do I waver on not only what I know but on what I have experienced.

The two me's.  The struggle, the fight and I am stuck in the middle.  I ask you, what are you wavering on that you already know to be true.  The real question is why?  Oh, the fight to be great. So it continues.....

My two favorite books: Mine!

I know that this is a shameless plug, but this is my blog.  Here are my two novels.  The Courage of my Tears and The Courage to Become.  

Let me give you a brief synopsis of both, the best way I can:

The Courage of my Tears:  Young woman who seemingly has it all, is dying from the inside.  She can't give or receive love because of the horrific relationship she has with her mother.  There is a man involved in her life (most men love his portrayal, you don't see this often) who honestly loves the woman that she is.  The story has a lot of twists and turn but is extremely raw and honest.  There is an emotional point of identity for everyone.

http://www.amazon.com/Courage-Tears-Diana-LaValle-Hicks/dp/1604742704/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1298305295&sr=8-1


The Courage to Become:  The sequel to the first.  Okay, the characters took on a definite life of their own. I wrote this book during a very painful period in my life.  It deals with a very taboo topic in society, miscarriage and the emotional effects that women and men experience, who is too blame, and how not having an answer can destroy a family.  The characters deal with the issue of growing up while being an adult.  I want to tell you more, but trust me, its good. 

http://www.amazon.com/Courage-Become-Diana-LaValle-Bridgett/dp/1448986419/ref=sr_1_5?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1298306123&sr=1-5

Hope you enjoy them.  Book three in the works this summer!

Steve Jobs: How to live before you die.

It's Steve Jobs.   Enough said.

On the list.

Last weekend, I went to the Louis Vuitton Store in Atlantic City just to walk around and see what was new.  There they were, on the shoulder of another woman who was talking them for a test walk.  I looked at them, they looked at me.  "Come and get me,"  "Diana, come and get me."  "You need us and we need you."  I just kept hearing the phrases over and over in my ear.  I shook my head in agreement.  Yes, you need to come home.  I touched them both gently as a reminder that I would keep my word.  They are on the conqueror.  Look at them aren't they beautiful?

Here is my other obsession for the upcoming season: This beautiful fedora.

Okay, these items or number 1-3 on my list.  The next time you see them it will be a picture of me with a bag on each shoulder and the hat on my head!  Can't wait.  Gotta go.  Talk soon.

Currently in love with the following.

So I am switching up my fragrance for the Spring.  I love to smell good.  I think a woman should always smell good.  Its just my thing.  A few weeks ago, I was sent a package from a bodycare company called "Four Truffles."  This stuff is amazing.  The bodycare line is made with Argan Oil from Morocco and Shea Butter from Africa.  Talk about heavenly. 

I am currently in love with the Bulgarian Lavendar Body Smoother.  OMG!!!!!!!  Really. This sugar rub does it for me.  I look forward to the end of my day with this stuff. 

Check "Four Truffles" out at http://www.fourtruffles.com/

If you don't believe you dream is worth the sacrifice and fight, you don't deserve to have it!

These are the same words that I said to the students at Gloucester County College.  I say these same words to myself at least once a day.  Yes, this journey is not easy and can seem utterly impossible some days, but you know what, someone is doing it.  Don't give up! Fight like your life depends on it.  Actually, it does.  If you don't accomplish every dream that you have, you are merely existing and not living.  In essence, you are walking dead. 

Be passionate.  Be committed.  Be honest to your self.  Above all, be accountable to YOU! If you don't move and act, then time will pass you and opportunity will go to someone else.  Don't become a causality to your own defeat and insecurity. 

Act, Be, and Become! (Note to self: Believe your own words.  Got it)

Check this out.

Borders is going bankrupt.  Magazine's are going digital, print is becoming non-existent.  Kindle and nook are taking over.  Arianna Huffington spoke about new media and publishing eleven months prior to her merge with AOL and the Huffington Post.  Take a look at what she has to say.  After all, she is 315 million dollars richer.

What Egypt showed me.

So I had just come from teaching two lectures on Global Competition at Gloucester Community College when I heard the news that Egypt's president had stepped down.  I don't believe that i understood the magnitude of what happened until I was at the Winslow Diner watching the reactions of the Egyptians on CNN. 

18 days these individuals stood on their convictions and decided to not be moved until action had taken place.  18 days may have seemed like a long time while they were going through the protest, but in retrospect, it was just a little over two weeks before they received what they had asked for.  You know what that said to me?  Diana, pull it together!  Sometimes I can't wait 24 hours before thinking that I should have something that I requested. 

The real question that I asked was, where is my faith?  My faith in what I believe, my faith in that what I am requesting will be granted and that I am deserving and  my faith that things will all work out for my good.  Huh, yes, Diana certainly needs to pull it together.

Necker Island: Going before the year is out.

There really are no words for this.  Check it out and see what I see:

Charles Brunson's Necker Island!

Diary Back Page Notes: Loren Ridinger

One Saturday in January, I had the great opportunity to speak with SVP of Market America, Loren Ridinger.  I can not begin to tell you the wealth of information that I received or the sincere genuine spirit that was relayed through the phone.  Normally when speaking with an individual who owns a billion dollar company, there is a certain aura that you find attached to the conversation.  This was certainly not the case.  What started off as an interview turned into an impromptu mentoring session for me.  I don't know how the tables turn so quickly, but it did and I was extremely grateful.

Prior to the interview, I had been feeling overwhelmed concerning my professional life and how I had not devoted time to anything personal in years.  I will be 33 soon and the desire to have a husband and family, well the voice is becoming louder in my ear.  I love everything that i do but like any other person, I do want to be fulfilled all around in my life.

Well, when speaking with Loren, it was as if she knew my exact thoughts and offered a lot of answers without realizing it (or maybe she did).  We spoke about building from the ground up and the heartaches that come along with the construction work.  We talked about being a woman and having that introspective time just for me.  Of course the topic of men came, but it was the usual conversation.  What Loren said to me has stuck with me since we last spoke.  She said, "Diana you have to connect yourself to someone who understands your drive and encourages your growth."  You may ask why that was so earth shattering to me? Here is the reason, sometimes when you long to feel a void, you settle on the slightest imperfection hoping to make it work.  When Loren made this statement, it came as a confirmation to not move forward in something that could potentially be destructive to me.  Little warnings will come to you in any form.  You just have to keep your ears open.

I will tell you that many people have come my way but the sincerity, compassion, and time that was given to me by this powerhouse of a woman was invaluable.  The humility alone was enough to bring tears to my eyes.  She talked with me for over an hour, with no rush and made me feel that what we were discussing was just as important as anything else.  People are just not that kind anymore these days to take time away from their lives to our into yours.  Loren and I have never met.  This was a phone call and the beauty of this woman's heart shined.

Here are a few other tidbits she taught me:

1. Give, give, and give.
2.  Understand that in building your brand there is sacrifice.  You have to determine how much you desire to sacrifice.
3. Give, give, and give.
4. Work with integrity.
5. Give, give, and give.
6. What you think about, that is what you will become.
7. You can have the life you desire, its your choice.
8. Give, give, and give.

Need more inspiration?  visit www.lorensworld.com 

Are you leveraging yourself?

During my normal routine of reading The Philadelphia Inquirer, The Daily News, The New York Times, checking the blogs along with my Facebook and Twitter; I came across some really stunning news.  AOL had acquired the Huffington Post for 315 million dollars (300 million in cash and 15 million in stock).  The Huffington Post is a news publication established by Arianna Huffington in the mid 90's.  This is the biggest deal for AOL since becoming an independent company in 2009.  This will give AOL a huge presence in journalism.  Arianna Huffington will be appointed Editor-in-Chief of AOL's content.  She will not only run the Huffington Post but will lead AOL's Huffington Post Media Group. 

Another big deal that occurred a few weeks ago was the acquisition of Bill Gates, shopdotcom by Market America for an undisclosed amount of money.  Market America is now poised to take over retail on line shopping through its company that already sees a billion dollars in revenue a year.

My point here is this: deals are happening all over the place.  Opportunities are endless even in this economy.  Are you leveraging yourself enough to sit at the table to deal your hand of cards.  I read an interesting quote this morning from Marvet Britto, a PR Guru, she said, " If you are in a room and no one remembers that you were even there, it is a waste of  your face in the place."   I thought about that.  She made a great point.  How many times have we been in THE place and not made ourselves, credentials, skill set, or personality known?  How many times have we silenced our own voice because of intimidation and missed what could have been a great opportunity? 

Here is the art of the deal: If you don't believe in the product of you, it wont sell and you will be just another person with great ideas and excellent skills that no one knows anything about.  Get your head out of the clouds and OPEN YOUR MOUTH!  Wow, that felt great to say.  I am talking to myself as well.  Look at your hand, pick your best card and get in the game. 

Don't cry at a shut door.

I worked at a place that I loved for five years.  This was the place that I got my footing so to speak in my "what I thought would be" career.  I loved my co-workers, the participants, and just overall fell in love with my job.  It had come to the point where I didn't see anything higher than where I was because this one corporation was the only thing in my sight.  Well, to mys surprise, the corporation was closing down due to many problems but I was one of the first to be laid off due to personal conflict.  You can imagine how I felt after five years of pouring my heart into a company that didn't have their heart with me.  When I say pour my heart, I stayed late, came on weekends, worked at home, developed new initiatives, a new program, etc.  I was crushed because this is where I had invested my heart.  I was devastated!

A year later, after much struggle and introspective thinking, a new opportunity in the field that I soar in came whispering at my door.  Before I go on, let me tell you that the year before was very difficult.  A relationship with employment ended, a marriage ended, I lost friendships, and came face to face with the little nasty things about myself that I tried to ignore.  It always easy to hold a mirror to someone else, but when its your own, somehow your arms become a little weak with holding that mirror.  It was painful.  I learned that I changed who I was to conform to the environment around me just to get ahead.  What I thought was being a leader was nothing more than a glorified misled follower.  These are all the things that I learned when the door closed.

Okay, back to the new opportunity.  So I was offered the position of Managing Editor at Hope Today in March which required me to form a new staff, take initiative on things, form a new editorial direction, build PR relationships etc.  You see how the past matures you for where you are going?  All of the things that I was doing before but on a much larger scale.  Also my experience taught me how NOT to do these things.  In July of the same year, I was offered the Editor-in-Chief position.  Then came all of these other wonderful opportunities along with meeting new people and establishing new relationships.  Amazing!!!!! Best part, I learned that who I am was good enough.

When one door closes, you may feel a little twinge of pain for a while, its okay. Endure it for its building character and stamina for where you are going.  Don't be afraid of the reflection in the mirror.  If you cant deal with you, you will not grow.  A closed always leads to another door.  Don't cry, just keep walking and fearless in turning the next knob of greater opportunity. 

Birthday Present to Me!

My 33rd birthday is just around the corner.  Am I excited?  You bet your bippies I am!!!!!!  April 10th, I will move into my new place of residence.  Oh so excited about that one.  I have a great, yet challenging and demanding career, and above all I will celebrate this great birthday in the Dominican Republic.  A whole entire week.  You read correctly.  I am taking off from everything for a whole week.  No phones, no computers, no companies, no magazines, no deadlines, no editing, and no meetings.  Just fun in the sun with my books, a surf board, and my IPod.  That's all I need. 

With all the snow around me, April 15th can't get here fast enough.  Check out where I will be calling home for a week....my little villa.

Ready to take on the world.

This morning I woke up with a great sense of empowerment.  My prayer every morning is, "Lord, open doors of new opportunity, help me to release my fears, bless me that I will be a blessing to others, and put someone in my path today that may need my help."  I pray this everyday.

Well this afternoon, I received a call that opened a huge door of opportunity for me.  Along with the publications that I oversee, I also consult with businesses to assist in their measurable outcomes and diversify their products.  A company that was not even on my radar contacted me today and want to establish partnership.  Talk about incredible!

Start your day with great intentions.  Get past the fear that says that you are not worthy to have the life that you desire to have.  I heard a great statement this morning as well, "Where there is a will there is a way, where there is a desire, it will be fulfilled."  I whole hearted believe this.  Things do not come into our heads to hold up space but for us to act.  Act on what is in your head.  Make today count. Face the fear of success and failure and understand that both are used to mature you.  Have an intent to be great and you will!

So glad that scripted shows are coming back.

The new show, "Harry's Law" is one of the best to come out in a long time.  David E. Kelley is a master at telling stories that have a moral compass attached.  I have long missed the days of watching television program that left something for me to talk about or drew some form of emotion out of me.  Don't get me wrong, I am a fan of all of the housewives franchise, but at the end of the day I would like to have television that left me with a little something as well as entertained me.

Woo hoo!  Scripted television is coming back.  I love it.  That means writers, producers, camera people etc are employed and the audience can follow a well thought out story instead of the non reality script of people's lives.  Who knows, perhaps in the near future you will see the name of yours truly roll down the line in the list of credits.  Stay tuned.....

My past time consumption: Mini Shopaholic by Sophie Kinsella

I have been hooked on the Shopaholic series from when it first hit the bookstores.  Becky Brandon-Bloomwood is the funniest character dealing with finances that I have read yet.  I love the humor that this woman represents in all of us who try to reconcile purchasing items that we really don't need.  Now she has a daughter who is the exact opposite that could care less about clothes or anything feminine.  Funny!!!!!!!!! I'll let you know how it turns out.

Just Write?!

I absolutely love my job, all seventeen of them.  However, I think the most rewarding aspect is empowering new writers in the writing world and stretching established writers past what they have viewed as their writing glass ceiling.  I really feel a sense of pride when I have a writer who i have worked with on editorial and I finally get the assignment where our practice and their persistence and flexibility has come together for a well thought out , research piece of work.  I really get a high off of seeing writers understand their writing style and see the progress in their journey.

As the author of two novels, I am often asked the famous question I believe any author is asked a million times over, "How did you write your book?"  If not that question then this statement, " I really want to write a book but I don't know where to begin."  I always tell people, if you want to write a book, just start writing.  Come out of the mindset of constructing a bestseller right off.  You will have many revisions and edits before you arrive at the place of being ready to publish.  Just pick up a pencil and begin.

Here are some tips to get you started:

1.  Get a journal. 

2.  Set aside time each day that is devoted strictly to writing.  You can start off with 15 minutes and work your way up.

3. Release all pretense.  You  are in the beginning phase so you don't have a deadline to turn your book into an agent.  Just write. 

4.  Its okay if you started writing about one thing and it leads to another.  That is creativity working at its best.  Often times your characters will begin to take on a life of their own, go with it.  Let them tell their story.

5.  Read, read, and read.  The best way to improve your writing skills is to read.  This enables you to view all different types of writing styles as well as help you to develop your own.

Writing is self-expression through words.  Be creative, have fun, and don't be too hard on your self.  Now get to going and I'll see you on the Best Seller's list.  Happy Writing!